Responding to Abuse -- may be triggering

This Sexplanations video, presented by Dr. Lindsey Doe, looks at how to respond when someone discloses a sexual assault experience. It draws on suggestions from survivors and advocates shared through OUR WAVE, covering how to listen without doubt, support the survivor, and connect them with resources. The video also notes that a person who discloses abuse to someone under 18 may have a duty to report it. The description lists several external organizations offering further support and information. Content may be triggering for some viewers.

• Listening and believing a survivor who discloses assault
• Respecting the survivor's control over the conversation
• Referring survivors to local and national support organizations
• Reporting duty when the survivor is under 18

"...that first instance of telling your story to someone else will make or break how easy recovery is going to be for you.” ~B. Piper, sexual violence expert A big thanks to the many people who listened to me and worked on this episode collaboratively. For additional information I would highly recommend these resources: OUR WAVE -- a safe place for victims/survivors to tell their stories https://www.ourwave.org ENGAGE by UPLIFT -- a YouTube video series to get help https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5-uV3zzBI6PHBw2w0Evnv2O6ErAOaQJE KATI MORTON -- Mental health channel https://www.youtube.com/user/KatiMorton HELP GUIDE -- https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/recovering-from-rape-and-sexual-trauma.htm RAINN -- anti-sexual violence organization https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline STOP BULLYING NOW -- https://www.stopbullying.gov/resources/get-help-now NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE -- https://www.thehotline.org FROM OUR WAVE: When a survivor discloses a sexual assault experience to you, it can often be difficult to know how to respond appropriately. While every situation is different, the following are suggestions from survivors and their advocates. First, listen. Rather than starting with doubt, start by believing. Allow the survivor to lead the conversation. Match the terminology of the survivor and do not label their experience for them. Avoid asking questions and let the survivor know you are glad that they told you. It is important to recognize that silence is okay. Next, support the survivor. Affirm their courage and strength. Ensure that they are safe and ask “how can I be helpful?” Validate their feelings. Most importantly, respect the decisions the survivor makes even if you do not agree with them. Remember, this person has had their power and control taken away from them so it is important that they have control over this conversation with you. Next, refer and connect the survivor to resources. There are a variety of local and national organizations devoted to comprehensive crisis intervention, advocacy, and support. You are not expected to be an expert in this topic, but directing survivors to people who are will help them get continued care and allow them to receive tailored information for their needs. It is important to note that if the survivor that discloses to you is under the age of 18, it is your responsibility to report the situation. This may feel counterintuitive given what we told you above about supporting survivor decision-making, but investigation is incredibly important for the child’s continued safety. If you need to report the situation, be transparent and try to explain why you need to do so. In all situations, if possible, be sure to follow up with the person to show them that you care. Finally, be gentle with yourself. You may feel anger towards the situation or towards the perpetrator. You may feel helpless that you can't relieve the survivor of their su