Should I Have Sex with My Ex?

This Sexplanations episode by Dr. Lindsey Doe looks at the question of whether to have sex with a former partner. It covers possible benefits and risk factors of breakup sex, what the cited research says, a few different perspectives, and the host's personal experiences with the topic. The host argues against "should" statements about this decision and asks viewers not to attach shame to whether someone sleeps with an ex or not, and to stay curious instead.

• Possible benefits and risk factors of sex with an ex after a breakup
• What published research says on the topic
• Different perspectives and the host's personal experience
• Takeaways: avoid shame and stay curious about personal choices

I've been working on this episode for over six months, researching and waiting, and thinking and laughing. "Should" questions or statements are a very powerful way we organize our judgment of ourselves and others, a way of saying, there's shame if you don't behave the way I think you /should/. I don't like them. And I don't like being on the receiving end. I judge too. I catch myself in hypocrisy. Don't yuck, someone else yum. But there I am poking holes in the lifestyle or personal choices of others like I'm some sort of all-knowing guru of existence. I'm not. There isn't a should about whether or not you have sex with your ex. Unlikely that anything applies to everyone or all of time and place. Life is too diverse for a system of shoulds and musts. I think. So if I or you or someone else is sleeping with an ex or isn't -- all I ask is that you not pack shame onto that decision and stay curious. Support Sexplanations by becoming a sexpla(i)naut: https://patreon.com/sexplanations Chapters: 00:00 Intro 01:09 Benefits and risk factors of breakup sex 02:45 What does the research say? 03:23 Perspectives 04:07 My experiences with breakup sex 04:28 Takeaways 06:21 Bloopers Videos: Decisions, Decisions: How to Make Hard Choices! (ft. Dr. Lindsey Doe!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxWSGwJzDlY How to Break Up with Someone the RIGHT Way (ft. Dr. Lindsey Doe!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO_PyUrk1zs Break Up First Aid Kit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wS1_K8JcZT0 Sources: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1474704920936916 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0265407509351035 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22946958/ https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-018-1268-6 https://www.elitedaily.com/p/is-having-sex-with-your-ex-unhealthy-a-new-study-makes-a-surprising-discovery-12612276 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3115386/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28485695/ https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10001274/ https://www.bustle.com/wellness/things-no-one-tells-you-about-sex-with-your-ex https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1474704920936916