The Permission to Choose Yourself | Anoushkaa Gireesh | TEDxThe Gaudium School

Why does saying no so often feel like a betrayal? This TEDx talk by Anoushkaa Gireesh looks at the gap between what people need and what they believe they are allowed to need. It asks whether caring for yourself and caring for others are truly in conflict, and why guilt often appears when someone chooses themselves. The talk is presented as part reflection and part conversation, and it invites viewers to rethink what kindness means. It was given at TEDxThe Gaudium School, an independently organized TEDx event. Source: TEDx Talks.

• The gap between personal needs and perceived permission
• Whether self-care and caring for others conflict
• Why guilt appears when choosing yourself
• Rethinking what it means to be kind

Why does saying “no” often feel like a betrayal? From childhood, we’re taught that being good means being easy: agreeable, available, helpful. Somewhere, kindness stops being a choice and becomes an expectation, and putting ourselves first starts to feel like something we need permission for. This TEDx talk examines the invisible gap between what we need and what we believe we’re allowed to need, whether caring for yourself and caring for others are really in conflict, and why guilt shows up the moment we choose ourselves. Part reflection, part conversation, this talk invites you to rethink what it truly means to be kind. Anoushkaa Gireesh, a CBSE Grade 10 student, treats every day conversation like it's being filmed for a sitcom — complete with comedic timing and the occasional dramatic pause for effect. A chronic collector of hobbies, she spends her time sketching, dancing, playing piano, and snapping photos (despite a phone that's always out of storage from hundreds of near-identical shots she can't bear to delete). If that doesn’t fill her week, she’s also a competitive basketball and kho kho player. As a committed debater, she believes every good idea deserves a good argument — and she won’t stop until she’s made one. Now, as a speaker for TEDxTGS, she’s excited to bring that same blend of precision, thoughtfulness, and heart to the stage. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx